Blue Monday

Guess it wasnt any surprise that I didnt get much sleep last nite. Despite consuming that half bottle of wine .. I just tossed and turned in my bed the entire nite.

First time I actually watched the sunrise .. and listened to the birds singing in the morning. The sun didnt actually come out as it was obsured the very black stormy clouds ... such a grey gloomy day .. mirrored exactly how I felt.

I dont know which felt worse .. the realization that I would have to get up and go to work .. face people, put on a smiley face and pretend that absolutely nothing was wrong .. or trying to forget .. there are so many things that would remind me ... finding a strand of stray hair .. a scent ....

I hope I can get through this week without losing it ... perhaps I would be better off trying to get through today ... maybe it's time I plan another outstation assignment .. maybe two weeks this time .. with work I may just be able to forget .......